Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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