I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
