I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
