she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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