I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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