So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm at about main and main street
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
