the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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