i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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