He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
