The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize