We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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