I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
