We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
