She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
wow bdsm is so cute
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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