his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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