i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
