C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
