They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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