did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
