I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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