no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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