Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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