is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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