My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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