Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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