Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
