is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
