if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize