I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
