Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
