my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
