I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
