went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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