i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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