I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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