Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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