Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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