best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
