I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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