glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
