My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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