spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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