my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
