I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
