lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Soap is not a condiment
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
