Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm just crazy horny about you
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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