He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize