cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
