I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
