your parents love me but you hate me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
