The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
