She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
