Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize