All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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