no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
