he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
