She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
