hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
