Duck Duck Cougar?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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