No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize