either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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