so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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